Posts Tagged With: disney

To All Who Come To This Happy Place… Aaaarrrggh!

NOTE – While I am offline writing fiction and ignoring my blog, I’ve decided to post a few pieces that 99% of you have never read.

Originally published by Forces Of Geek

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Perhaps I’d been serenaded “The Ballad of Davy Crockett” once too often while still in the womb or maybe it was the steady diet of Donald Duck brand orange juice made with fruit concentrate that did it to me. Whatever the root cause, I was raised with an inherent love of all things Disney. To my sister and me, Disney cartoons and films were seen as the embodiment of all things good, they conveyed a world where things were safe, where good things happened to good people and where solutions to most of our problems were just a Sherman brothers song away. I believed that the Disney magic was real. Real, that is, until… that one day.

What happened that day, you ask?

A sobering reality that haunts me to this day–that’s what happened.

Let us journey, boys and girls, back to a not-so-magical land called… Anaheim.

LBOfT

“Oh look. Anaheim has people dress up as foliage. How quaint!”

That particular morning, my adorable self had woken up with an enthusiasm unmatched since Continue reading

Categories: Childhood = 100 Years Ago | Tags: , , , , | 30 Comments

LINK: M-I-C… See That Exit? K-E-Y… Why? Because You’re Fired!

Below is a link to my newest article for Forces Of Geek and editor Stefan Blitz.  I am taking a break from FOG for a few months, so please send me off by clicking on the link below.

Thanks!

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 M-I-C… See That Exit? K-E-Y… Why? Because You’re Fired!

Mouseketeer Roll Call! 

Bobby!  
Annette!
Sharon! 
Lonnie!
Cubby!
Mary Danella Espinoza…?

* insert sound of record scratching here *

Continue reading

Categories: Shameless Plug | Tags: , , , , | 35 Comments

LINK: Disney Peripherals

Below is the link to a new article of mine for Forces Of Geek. It gets more interestingd after the link, trust me.

Disney Peripherals

Disney does many things well, like family-friendly movies, theme parks that attract millions of people and reminding us that magic can be a real possibility. 

They also do a few things with what must be regarded as an unparalleled finesse and expertise.

Such things include global media domination, turning moderately talented 13-year olds into pop sensations and tapping the unlimited well of character merchandising. 

Characters that haven’t been animated in over 50 years still retain a fan base and marketing potential.

Cinderella and Snow White are just a few of Disney’s character elite that have seen a resurgence in popularity, especially with young girls. This is in no small way the result of Disney’s marketing of the Princess line.

“Role models? You betcha! We’ve all got unique qualities that make us strong, female characters. Examples? Well, we can’t think of any off-hand, but we’ll totally get back to you.”

The Disney Princesses campaign highlights some of movies’ most cherished princesses, portraying them on equal footing, all the while celebrating their individual appeal….

READ REST HERE

Categories: Shameless Plug | Tags: , , , , , | 14 Comments

LINK – Disney Proves Evolution

To many, Evolution is a theory, one that can be argued, debated and even disputed. While I may lose some readers who are devout Disney Creationists, I do hope the rest will consider the evidence I have collected. Evidence that I hope will put to rest the creation vs. evolution debate regarding Mickey Mouse.

With that said, please read my grad school-like thesis, Disney Proves Evolution, which documents the evolutionary process of Mickey Mouse in real-life, but also the terrifying incarnations that scarred generations of children. 

 

Disney Proves Evolution

Unbeknownst to the television audience, these children weren’t running toward fun and magic, they were running from the walking terror and living nightmares of Mickey and Minnie.

Categories: Shameless Plug | Tags: , , , | 16 Comments

Sex, Drugs and Disney Sequels

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Over the next five years, Walt Disney Studios will be squeezing blood from stones as they begin production on the one thing audiences love: sequels to beloved films.

BeFunky_salon-logo

Colin Drabcock, Executive Franchise re-Imagineer, explained the new philosophy of the successful family studio, “People f**king love things that are familiar, s**t like that. They want to visit old friends, they want to look at old f**king pictures, they want to remember their motherf**king history. Do people want to go out and see a f**king movie because it has new characters? f**k no! They want to see movies that have the f**king characters they already f**king love. It’s like going back to the f**king innocence of your f**king childhood.”

After extensive studies of pie charts, internet SEO trends and online movie review sites, Disney media observers zeroed in on what modern audiences wanted.

“A successful f**king film,” says Drabcock, “has gotta have all the f**king stuff that reflects today’s audiences: sex, drugs and rock ‘n f**king roll. Woo! It’s gotta be fun, but also edgy and push the f**king boundaries a little. When people think Disney, they think of f**king bunny rabbits and songs written by a bunch of f**king gay dudes. Well, we’re here to change the f**k out of that, I promise. And that’s a promise you can take to the f**king bank.”

With its eyes on the horizon, Disney has begun production on several new projects that will revitalize both the studio and the financial viability of sequels. Provided for us is a  rundown of the story lines, separated into themes:

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Categories: Fiction Fiasco | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

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